Thursday, January 2, 2014

Animal noises

If people aren't animals, then how come we can make animal noises so well?

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Ancient castles

Why do people say the castle was ancient? Aren't all castles ancient?

Lottery jackpot winners

Lottery jackpot winners get excited, but winning the jackpot has already been done many times before.

Bad habit

A bad habit can't be too bad or else the person wouldn't keep doing it.

A few good men

A few good men are not needed because you only need to marry one.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Truth hurts

If the truth hurts, then why do people always tell it?

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Chicken legs

How come nobody makes fun of chicken legs on chickens but they do on people?

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Lawyer's son

Do lawyer's sons ever get sued?

Marriage vows

Why are marriage vows taken if hardly anyone ever follows them?

Monday, October 7, 2013

Robots

If all people become robots one day, who will control us if we are all robots?

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Making babies

Nobody can make a baby. The body does all the work.

Making things smooth

If people can make things smooth in life, how come my roads are bumpy?

Lunchboxes

Why are lunchboxes gone? You save money on bags.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Horsing around

If people horse around then what do horses do?

Bedtime attire

Why do people worry about what they will wear at bedtime? Who is going to see them?

Sunday, September 29, 2013

A bad cough

You HAVE to have a bad cough. Nobody ever has a good cough.

Good ones taken

Why are people so surprised that all the good ones are always taken? Who wants the bad ones?

Demanding dogs

Dogs are more demanding than people but yet people put up with them. But if that dog was a person, they would tell them to leave the house.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Hard pretzels

Why do people buy hard pretzels when you risk breaking your teeth biting into them?

Snoring

How do people who snore sleep with all the noise they make?

Friday, September 13, 2013

No diet or exercise

How come some people who never diet or exercise live until their 90s?

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Tooth fairy

Is the tooth fairy a guy or a girl?

Toaster ovens

Nobody still knows what a toaster oven really does. Do you make toast in a toaster oven or is it an oven?

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Car horns

How come car horns never break but everything else on a car does?

Rushed to the hospital

Why do people say "rushed to the hospital"? Nobody ever goes slow to a hospital when it is an emergency.

Joke of the year

Why is there a joke of the day but not a joke of the year?

Motherland

How come a homeland is always called a motherland and not a fatherland?

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Cat weirdness

How come some cats are just as weird as people are?

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Senility prayer

How can you say a senility prayer if you are senile?

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Basement living

Why do people feel ashamed to say they live in the basement? It is nice and quiet down there.

Balcony view

People always say the balcony has the best views for shows. So why do people rush to get front row seats then instead?

Friday, August 23, 2013

Bald and hats

How come people who are bald don't wear hats?

Monday, August 19, 2013

Foot in mouth

How can someone put their foot in mouth?

Monday, August 12, 2013

Thinking of nothing

How can you think about nothing? You have to still be thinking. The brain doesn't stop.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Baby pictures

Why do people show baby pictures? They all look exactly the same.

Hot sauce

Why do people burn their mouth with hot sauce?

Run faster

Why do people say "hurry up" in a race? If I could run faster, don't you think I would?

No hospital parking spots

Why is there never any hospital parking spots? Why not make the parking lots bigger?

Cheap grocery bags

Why are grocery bags so cheap even though the groceries are heavy?

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Kind history

How can history be kind? How many wars were there in the world already?

Monday, August 5, 2013

Banks in business

How come the banks always stay in business if people have no money today?

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Bad devil

Doesn't the devil get tired of making people do bad things 24 hours a day for thousands of years?

Pearly gates

How is it that there are pearly gates in heaven when there is no physical matter?